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Stewie Griffin
Stewart "Stewie" Gilligan Griffin is the matricidal, megalomaniacal 1 year old infant of the Griffin family. According to Dammit Janet! he has also been known to answer to "Artemis", "Agent Buckwald", and "Snake". He rather likes "Snake." He had his first birthday in Chitty Chitty Death Bang. However, it should be noted that his age is still listed as 'one' even though people in the series are still getting older (i.e Cleveland jr, and Brian). Background Stewie is well-spoken, with an advanced vocabulary and an English accent, and of an ambiguous sexual orientation. He refers to Peter often as 'The Fat man'. Seth MacFarlane has described him as "an evil Rex Harrison". He has a love-hate relationship with the family dog Brian, and of course tells him almost all his secrets (Road to Rhode Island and Road to Europe). Stewie is constantly plotting ways to kill his mother, Lois, apparently holding a grudge against her because of his nine-month stay in her "ovarian Bastille." He shares his secrets with his confidant, BOBA Rupert, has sex Stewie often speaks from the standpoint of a much older person, saying such things as "What is it that you children are into nowadays?" On the show, Stewie engages in extreme violent or criminal acts, including robbery, carjacking, loan sharking, forgery, and killing off many minor characters. The characters he kills off are for reasons such as anger, jealousy, and grudges he holds. Stewie's mastery of physics, mechanical engineering, and firearm are at a level of science fiction. He has constructed advanced fighter-jets, a mind control device, a weather control device, robots, a time machine, a shrinking pod, a teleportation device, and more. Stewie employs these to deal with the stresses of infant life (such as teething pain, and eating hated broccoli) or to kill his mother or others. Stewie's ability to move objects of greater weight than himself is not surprising to other characters, nor is his ability to perform martial arts or retrieve firearms from hammerspace. It has been implied that Stewie, like his mother, has a masochistic personality. This was revealed in one episode when Lois spanked Stewie for destroying her pearl necklace. Stewie claimed to have enjoyed suffering from such pain, and unsuccessfully went out of his way to provoke Lois several times in the episode into spanking him again. He even had a day dream in which he was tortured by a dominatrix. In one episode Stewie is seen doing pot in the future. One of his two friends says, "Great pot, Stewie," and Stewie replies that he got it from the housekeeper. However, this is a fantasy shot, so it is uncertain whether or not it is canon. Another shows Stewie as the effeminate male friend of the popular girls during high school. Can The Family Understand Stewie? Much confusion has occurred over whether or not the family can understand Stewie's speech, especially given his tendency towards homicidal remarks. The Griffins appear to ignore most of what Stewie says, though on occasion they have responded to his speech, suggesting that they are fully aware of what he is saying and, while they understand his speech, they don't pay it much attention. This has been referred in "E. Peterbus Unum" as a meta-joke. The end of the episode reveals it actually being a historical video, projected to a group of students in the future. When the presenter asks if there are any questions, one of the students responds with "I don't get it. So... like... can the family understand the baby or... what's the deal with that?" The other students are seen nodding in agreement with the apparent confusion. Only Brian seems to fully understand what he's saying. Here are a few occasions when people have evidently understood him. Chitty Chitty Death Bang :Stewie: Victory is mine! :Lois: Yes, and this cake is yours, too. : :Brian in Love Stewie is being potty trained by Peter. :Stewie:Put your hands on the toilet seat it will help me relax :Peter puts his hands on the toilet seat, and Stewie slams the toilet seat on his hands. Mind Over Murder :Stewie: Burn in hell! :Lois: Hell... hell has fire. Untitled Griffin Family History :Stewie: How can you say you don't like it if you haven't even given it a chance? :Lois: I agree with Stewie, it's not really fair. Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington (when Lois dreams she finds out that Stewie's evil) :Lois: My god, it all makes sense now. My baby is some kind of diabolical genius bent on world domination! :Stewie: (clapping) Bravo, Lois. The last horse finally crosses the finish line. :Lois: Stewie! All these months I should've paid attention to what you've said. You're an evil child. Why, why did I have to go and smoke pot when I was pregnant with you? Love Blactually Stewie wants to talk to Loretta, but Brian won't let him. :Stewie: Just let me do all the talking. :Brian: No, I think I can communicate with her better. She's only going to get the gist of what you're saying. :Stewie: Really? Isn't she one of those people outside the family who can understand me? :Brian: No, I think because of Cleveland she's close enough to the main cast that it might be a little weird. :Camera man: We're filming! :Stewie: Okay, okay! (to Brian) Ring the doorbell. Brian, the family dog can always understand him though, and they often have conversations between themselves. Strangers can also understand Stewie, as can Brian's girlfriend (of several episodes) Jillian Russell. Lauren Conrad is even able to understand him. On the rare occasions he speaks directly to Meg or Chris they also sometimes reply. The episodes Stewie Kills Lois and Lois Kills Stewie are the only episodes where he is really spoken to properly by all family members, but these two episodes are somewhat non-canonical, as they were simulations but still had a strong possibility of happening. When asked this question in an interview, Seth MacFarlane, the creator of Family Guy, stated that Stewie is really talking, but most of the family just ignore him in the way people generally ignore things said by very small children. He also said that Brian can understand him. Stewie's sexual orientation Stewie seemingly is a closet Bisexual. In FG301 "The Thin White Line", Stewie sings to a ship full of sailors: "Well, despite your point of view I can thrill a girl or two- But I'd rather get it on with you!" Also there is a quote after escaping the cops, while dressed as a girl in FG515 "Boys Do Cry" :Brian: How you holding up Stewie? :Stewie: Umm, I feel right Brian, I feel right. There is also a scene in Deep Throats that suggests he's attracted to Brian. He makes a similar drunken admission in Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story. In the same episode he asks Brian to shave his "coin purse". He even tried to trick Brian into having sex with him, in the episode Movin' Out (Brian's Song). He has also kissed Brian several times on the show. In No Meals On Wheels, he is tricked by Brian into yelling "Yahtzee" and he does it in a feminine way. In No Chris Left Behind he says he hopes to join a group of gay men. In The Tan Aquatic with Steve Zissou, Stewie had a panic about having cancer, and wanted to have his list of things to be done before he died to be completed. One of those things was to learn how to ballroom dance with Brian. In that part, Stewie dressed himself in a pink dress and ear-rings. After they have danced for a while, Stewie whispers, "I love you" to Brian. In Love Blactually, Stewie sucks his finger after "accidentally" putting it into Brian's mouth. In 420, Brian asks if Stewie can give him a sample of his pee (to trick Joe, who wanted to use the sample to check if Brian was smoking marijuana). Stewie looks very happy to accomplish Brian's request, and even gets naked to do it (although he really doesn't have to). In the episode, Saving Private Brian, he and Brian kiss to get kicked out of the army. Then while kissing another gay man comes up to them and says, :Gay man: "Room for one more?" :Stewie: "Hell yeah!" Brian then slaps him. In some episodes Stewie has dreams about Rupert being a muscular man with a teddy bear head and him being a short baby like woman. In The Former Life of Brian, Stewie develops a strong crush on Brian's son Dylan: :Dylan: Stewie, why are you naked? :Stewie: Oh, just a little something I do around here once a week called naked tea party. Got my teacup here, now all I need is a teabag. That something that interests you my friend? :Dylan: You're weird. :Stewie: And you're attractive; now take your fucking pants off! In We Love You Conrad Stewie, revealed his alter ego, Desiree. Showing that he had many boyfriends including one named Lee. In Chick Cancer, during the ending credits, Stewie said that he could totally get into being gay. In Not All Dogs Go To Heaven he is asked if he is gay to which he replies "probably". In Three Kings Stewie takes the role of Annie Wilkes in which he shows strong sexual attraction to Brian. In Screwed the Pooch, he says he likes to go to half nude (shirtless) disco themed gay bars to relax. Similar hints are given during other episodes. In Family Gay, when he tells Brian about the straight camp, a place where gay people go to become straight, he shows him a folder about it. When Brian notices that it's dated last year, Stewie looks uncomfortable and says that it was just something that he found in the street. In Patriot Games, he becomes sexually aroused after seeing a man showering. In FOX-y Lady he eats a banana shaped like a penis and enjoys it. In Stew-Roids he is shown playing with female dolls and talking like a woman. However, there are also many references to him being straight, as seen in FG215 "Dammit Janet", where he falls in love with a female toddler. Stewie is shown to hate gay people in some episodes like Road to Rhode Island where he asks why everyone comes out to him.and Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington he says "not ass you pervert save it for the interns". Stewie has twice had a relationship with another young toddler/beauty queen named Olivia. He also became sexually aroused while watching the female cheerleaders undress. Stewie also came close to having sex with Connie D'Amico in McStroke. In Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story, his older self had sex with a girl named Fran for 8 seconds. Stewie also became furious when he discovered that his future self was a virgin. At first sight, Stewie was also instantly attracted to Jillian. He is also easily annoyed by Jasper, Brian's gay cousin. Stewie falls in love with his babysitter in 8 Simple Rules for Buying My Teenage Daughter. Also, in Ocean's Three and a Half, Stewie falls madly in love with Susie Swanson, the Swanson's new baby, and tries to impress her with a song but by the time the episode was over he had lost interest in her only to fall in love with Bryan Adams. Stewie also has a running gag in the series where he throws "Sexy Parties" that involve many women in tight and revealing outfits. Overall, these scenes indicate that Stewie is clueless as for what "sexy" means, but rather imagines parties suited for toddlers: laughing, running around a-la-Benny Hill or playing Red Light, Green Light. In Road to Germany, Stewie was flying a plane and made some odd gestures at a passing pilot. However when the pilot had his shirt off and was rubbing his nipple, Stewie looked stunned as if he had gone too far. Also, in Road to Germany, When asked what qualified him to fly, he responded "I have a British accent, I'm possibly homosexual, I never brush my teeth, and my wife is ghaaastly." In Mr. Saturday Knight, Stewie was at a funeral and was looking at all the girls and was counting which female babies he would "do." In Sibling Rivalry, he is seen with a girl probably his girlfriend she even kisses him. In Tales of a Third Grade Nothing, he and Brian are seen with 2 women at the club. in The Cleveland-Loretta Quagmire, he has sex with a doll he takes for a female infant. A strong possibility is that Stewie is confused about his sexual orientation due to the fact that he is only one years old, being the reason he acts gay in some episodes (this is a possible draw back to being a super genius when you are only one years old). Stewie has a horrified reaction to seeing the online video 2 Girls, 1 Cup, but after the initial shock starts wondering if there is a video of two guys doing the same thing, eventually suggesting Brian to look it up. In a canceled episode named Queer Is Stewie?, he came out of the closet. This never saw the light of day due to the show's cancellation. The episode was later redone to Stewie finding his future self. Seth MacFarlane, the creator of Family Guy, has stated in an interview that "He originally began as this diabolical villain, but then we delved into the idea of his confused sexuality. We all feel that Stewie is almost certainly gay, and he’s in the process of figuring it out for himself. We haven’t ever really locked into it because we get a lot of good jokes from both sides, but we treat him oftentimes as if we were writing a gay character." Stewie is quite possibly bisexual or he is sexually confused, depending on the episode. (In Movin' Out (Brian's Song) he was gay, in Dammit Janet! he is straight.) sometimes he shows signs of both in one episode like Ocean's Three and a Half and Family Gay so it is most likely the former' though he shows that he does not have a complete knowledge of sexual intercourse as shown in chick cancer where he says he thinks sex is "some kinda cake". It should be also noted when peter starts collecting horse sperm stewie makes a mistake and puts it in his cereal after peter said what it was stewie slowly ate it . Seth MacFarlene has speculated that when Stewie grows up, he will ultimately become either a homosexual or a repressed, unhappy heterosexual. *In the new season it is possible the creators are letting Stewie show his true feelings. Stewie's head Some questions have been raised about the unique American football shape of Stewie's head, none of the other Griffin family members have this trait. In the episode Stuck Together, Torn Apart, in one flashback, Stewie did have a head shape similar to Meg's until he was bouncing on the bed and hit the ceiling, thus flattening it into the familiar football shape. However, in Chitty Chitty Death Bang, there were flashbacks of Stewie in Lois's womb and the moment he was born, and his head was already like that. This may be because Peter and Lois' relationship is supposedly incestuous due to a sexual encounter between Nate Griffin and the Pewterschmidt slave owners, however this is not the case as Peter is not technically a Griffin; he's a McFinnigan. Also, his half-brother Bertram has a similar head shape. It is possible that they may have inherited the shape of their heads from Nate Griffin's son, but then questions could be raised as to where that child acquried the strange shape. A genstic mutation may have been the explanation for the irregular skull. Also Stewie's head looks similar in shape to the main character of the 1996 cartoon "Hey Arnold!". A possibility was thrown around in Road to the Multiverse where there is an alternate universe where the entire Griffin family has football heads. Stewie: (Trying to fit a bag over his head) My god, Lois, either I was a C-Section or you're Wonder Woman. Stewie's Inventions *FG101 - Mind Control Device - Used on a judge to save Peter from jail. *FG102 - Weather Device - Used to control the world's weather (and destroy broccoli). *FG103 - Carbonite Freeze Gun - Used on security guard that froze him for approximately 10 years. *FG104 - Time Machine - Stewie moved time forward to bypass the pain of teething, but was forced to move time backwards when the machine's schematics became public. *FG219 - Hypnotic Control Device - A device used to harness the size and strength of Chris. *FG302 - Mass Hypnosis Device - Used to control the unsuspecting public. *FG311 - In order to keep Lois and Peter from having another baby he created two machines: **Peter-Bot - a robotic version of Peter that would replace him in the bed. **Micro-Ship - A battle cruiser that shrank to the size of a cell, and was armed with phaser cannons to battle Peter's sperm cells; the ship's computer was voiced by Majel Barrett, widow of "Star Trek" creator Gene Roddenberry and voice of the ship's computer in all the Star Trek series. *FG314 - Tried to control the minds of a basketball crowd by taking the part of a head cheerleader. *FG419 - The little supervillain makes a hovering drill machine to kill Lois, but it fails. *FG422 - Stewie gets into a war with his sibling, Bertram which involves his personal fleet of airplanes. *Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story - Created robot lookalikes of himself and Brian so they could leave and find his real father. *FG509 - Creates a pair of skis with rockets on them that can even produce a large tea room and butler, so he can get his teddy bear Rupert back. *FG604 - Stewie uses a simulation machine to see what it would be like if he killed Lois and took over the world. *FG605 - The family finds a body switching orb that works on Lois and Peter. *FG703 - Stewie created another time machine which Mort was mislead and thought it was a restroom. * FG711 - He made a teleporter to ask the cast of Star Trek: The Next Generation a few questions. *Patriot Games - Stewie Invents his own version of the M2 Flamethrower, it is smaller, and it is blue, and works to a deadly and very painful level. *American Dad vs. Family Guy - He builds a robot walker complete with machine guns, lasers, rockets, a force field, and a metallic orb that can explode and kill his opponents. *He also seems to be constantly carrying a firearm, whether a ray/laser gun, shotgun, machine gun, flamethrower, or his favorite pistol, the Colt M1911. He is very skilled with these weapons. *In addition, he has several bladed weapons such as retractable wrist blades, throwing axes, twin daggers, and a sword that he has skill and coordination with. *His lair is a large room hidden behind his bedroom wall and opened up when a baseball bat in his toy bin is moved. *He is proficient in several forms of martial arts, and has demonstrated skills in Muay Thai, Savate, Krav Maga, Kendo, Fencing, Ninjutsu, Okinawan Kobudo, and Brazillian Jiu-Jitsu. *He has displayed genius level intelligence, and a proficiency in quantum physics, chemistry, engineering, piloting, military strategy, and psychological warfare. Methods of world domination *Going to Nicaragua to raise an army. *Pointing several nukes on each and every capital around the globe. *Hacking the CIA power grid and gaining control of the earth's electricity. Relatives Main Artcle: List of Griffin and Pewterschmidt ancestors *Brian Griffin (best friend/rival/love interest) *Peter Griffin (father) *Lois Griffin (mother/archenemy) *Chris Griffin (brother) *Meg Griffin (sister) *Bertram Griffin (half-brother) *Stewie Cruise (cousin) *Mickey McFinnigan (paternal grandfather) *Thelma Griffin (paternal grandmother) *Carter Pewterschmidt (maternal grandfather) *Barbara Pewterschmidt (maternal grandmother) *Peter Griffin Jr. (deceased brother) *Mystery Sister (deceased; strangled by Meg) His enemies * The Man in White - the "professional" who Stewie thought was supposed to return him to Lois' womb on his birthday. He was assassinated by Stewie who lured him into their house and disintegrated him. * Bertram- his half brother and single most worst nemesis who have fought several times with Stewie coming out victorious. Bertram usually gets out of his losses by admitting defeat or yelling "MOMMY!" * Brad - the little deviant who was the signature antagonist against Stewie during swimming at the quahog community pool. * Charlie the Bully - a bully who stole his trike, later forced to give it back under a death threat, the two never saw each other again. * Connie D'Amico - a popular girl who dated him and later dumped and humiliated him, he took revenge by framing her for pedophile and getting her arrested. * Lois - second most antagonistic archenemy he has ever known, tried to kill her on several occasions, seems to have become less evil and gotten on better terms with her and has not shown any hatred of her since The Juice Is Loose. Murders committed by Stewie * The Man in White - Killed by Stewie's disintegration ray in a case of mistaken identity as Stewie mistakingly believed Lois' obstrestrician was after him. * Vern and Johnny - Shot with a handgun after their music had annoyed Stewie to a breaking point; feeling the need to commit homicide. * La Dawn's boyfriend - Locked him in Brians Trunk, in which is suffocated. * Matthew McConaughey asks for 'a guy named Stewie', Stewie then immediately shoots him with a Crossbow in You May Now Kiss the...Uh...Guy Who Receives. * Several Small Children - In Dammit Janet, he is seen locking a small child underneath a sand pit, the group of children probably die of thirst, starvation or other ways of death. * Colin Farrell He is seen getting annoyed by a man with a T-Shirt with the word Phresh on it and wearing a wool cap and ripped jeans, Stewie then pulls out a shotgun and destroys him in Believe It or Not, Joe's Walking on Air. * Cleveland (Non-Canon) - In Lois Kills Stewie, Cleveland comes to visit, only to be shot instantly by Stewie with a Desert Eagle. * Joe (Non-Canon) - In Three Kings, Stewie pulls out a shotgun and blasts Joe's legs off, killing him. * Olivia and another Toddler - In Chick Cancer, Stewie is upset when Olivia divorces him, and he then proceeds to burn down the house, killing her and another toddler. * A Random Hooker (Non-Canon)- In a deleted scene of Chick Cancer, Stewie pulls out a Kar98k with a scope and shoots a Hooker coming out of Quagmire's house. * His Pre-School Teacher - In The Courtship of Stewie's Father, he aims to shoot Lois with a crossbow, and shoots his Teacher instead when Lois moves out of the way (acident though he shows no remorse). *The Cast of Entourage (Non-Canon) - During Stewie's song The List, he sings, "And Every Bleeding Members of the Cast of Entourage", he then presses a button and the cast falls onto a bunch of spikes. *The Guy behind the News Reporter Waving like a fool (Non-Canon) - During Stewie's song The List, he sings "There's the guy who stands behind the News Reporter waving like a fool", he then runs him over. *The guy at Thanksgiving saying "It's the trip to fame!" (Non-Canon) - During Stewie's song The List, he sings "There's the guy at Thanksgiving saying it's the tryptophan", he then stabs the man in the eye with a bone. *The Asian guy who cuts in front of every single line (Non-Canon) - During Stewie's song The List, he sings "Theres the Asian guy who cuts in front of every single line", he then pushes him onto a rail track and is ran over by the ride. *New Brian- in The Man with Two Brians Stewie upset and possibly heartbroken that brian left tries to convince new brian to leave but after he tells him that he humped rupert stewie loses it and murders new brian with an axe, dumps his corpse inthe garbage and forges a suicide note(though this all happened off screen and we find out about it after seeing the afteraffects (stewie drags a bloody garbage bag away and we than see peter reading a note that goes "so thats why i took an axe, chopped myself up and dumped my remains in the garbage")) *unnamed power guy- stewie put out a house furnace and made it and the house explode because he and brian were tryng to fix it (it was in a terrible state) so they could sell it has home owners but they realized that they "bit off more than they could chew" (it was in dissrepare) and stewie decided to destroy there house to get back there money on the explanation that they were hired to try and do the impossible (claming that it just fell apart why they were working on it) but they forgot they had a power guy in there helping them, so he died in the explosin.(acidant) *several sperm- stewie goes into peters body and murders his sperm in Emission Impossible. *Denise cosby - shot and killed by stewie with an energy weapon in not all dogs go to heaven after she insults his age after he kidnapps the cast of star trek to ask them a few questions (deceased on family guy but still alive in real life) Other appearances * Stewie has appeared as a Spokesperson for Snapvine.com, speaking as Darth Vader and asking users what they would blow up with the Death Star, while promoting the Lucas-MacFarlane project Blue Harvest (Family Guy). * Stewie appeared in a short clip on the 20th annual MTV Video Music Awards insulting rapper 50 Cent, which has become a viral video circulating on numerous online services. Stewie, with blocks spelling out "MTV", Rupert and a baby toy in the background, reads some words from the song "Wanksta" in a comical voice, then commenting: "Well, good luck finding the subject and predicate of that run-on sentence! And what the bloody hell does he mean, "we don't go nowhere without toast"? Now, you listen to me, Mr. Cent. If you want to make it in this business, lay off the doobie!". He then pulls out a hitherto concealed sign reading "Stewie for Governor". * Stewie's face, on a stick, can be seen in the background of the ESPN talk show Pardon the Interruption. * During the 2006 Canadian Election Royal Canadian Air Farce ran their own election with Paul Martin, Stephen Harper, Jack Layton (all leaders of the major parties that election), Jim Harris (whose Green Party, while still minor, was gaining public attention) and "Stewie from Family Guy." Stewie ended up winning with 39 percent of the votes. *Stewie has appeared on the MSNBC news program Countdown with Keith Olbermann, often introducing (or regressing) news stories regarding Bill O'Reilly. On the May 24, 2006 show, he introduced O'Reilly as Worst Person in the World (a regular Olbermann segment) on the program. Stewie said, "Oh, wait, Bill, hold still. Allow me to soil myself on you. Victory is mine!" This has been shortened to just "Today's Worst Person in the World." Stewie announced June 1 "Countdown presents: 'Factor Fiction', wherein we expose that bastard Bill O'Reilly lying again." He then repeated what he had said above. This has become the norm on O'Reilly segments most of the time. On June 5, 2006, he introduced "Breaking News" about Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, and American Idol by saying "Oh here we go. Probably some story about Britney Spears or, knowing Keith, some baseball card." He also did an animation saying "Breaking News. Oh, this should be rich, must be something of a monumental earth shattering importance or they wouldn't have that Earth there shattering. See it shattering? It's Earth Shattering Breaking News. Oh, do tell me! Tell me, tell me!" * Stewie (along with Brian, the latter with no speaking roles) has also appeared on the unaired short of My Name Is Earl called ''Bad Karma'', in which he influences Earl to get even with everyone who's wronged him. Earl watches him on TV instead of Carson Daly. This short appears on the Season 1 DVD. * Stewie was an announcer of the 2006 Spike Video Game Awards. * Stewie and Brian appeared at the 59th Primetime Emmy Awards performing a musical number poking fun at networks and current shows on the air, while also poking fun at the new shows coming this fall, such as the one based on the GEICO Cavemen. The song was based on the FCC song from the episode "PTV". * Stewie-in parade balloon form- appeared in a commercial for Coca-Cola that aired during Super Bowl XLII. During the course of the commercial, the Stewie balloon and the Underdog balloon fight over a floating bottle of Coke. During the course of the battle the bottle floats away from them and into the waiting arms of a Charlie Brown balloon. * In May 2009, Stewie appeared as a hallucination seen by Agent Seeley Booth in the Bones episode, "The Critic in in the Cabernet." Classic Quotes * OH! Now I've gone and soiled myself. * (After hearing Jillian say 'Rhode Island City') "Ahahahahaha! It's like she's fucking five!" * Oh yes Meg yes. Everything was going swimmingly for you until now. THIS is the thing that will ruin your reputation. Not your years of grotesque appearance, or your awkward social graces, or that Felix Unger-ish way you clear your sinuses. No no no, it's this. Do you hear yourself talk? I might kill you tonight." * "Yea, I'll have the douchebag on rye." * "Hello operator...operator! Oh yes, that's it, you have to punch in the numbers nowadays. Yes I should know this...867-5309...no that's not it...DAMN YOU TOMMY TUTONE! Uh...there's only one thing to do. 111-1111, Lois? Damn. 111-1112, Lois? Damn. 111-1113..." * Oh, I'm going to do to you what douchebags did to the guitar. * (After Brian tells him what gay is) Oh thats what gay is... oh I could totally get in to that. * You've got money to pay for fake moustaches! * How ironic, Rogers... it almost rhymes with... eliminate! * Victory is mine! * Put me through to the Pentagon! (to his Sesame Street phone) * Damn you vile woman! (to Lois) * You! Bring me the Wall Street Journal! You two! Fight to the death! * What the deuce!?! * Cool hwip * I'm going to kill you * BURN IN HELL!!! (To Lois) * YOU SUCK! (To Brian) * NO! It is not Mummy and Daddy! From now on it is Lois and the Fatman! (To his full-grown self) * (Brian: Who else works here besides me?) FUCK YOU! Thats who works here! * Silence you contemptible shrew! (To Lois) External Links *Stewie pictures and other Family Guy pictures Griffin Category:Enemy characters